Living Life Ten Minutes At A Time

Alzheimer's Disease has been on my mind a lot over the past week. I don't normally sit around and think about this horrible illness. I've worked with many people who were inflicted with this, and it destroys them; it robs them of their humanity. I've watched people go through the various stages of the disease and eventually they all end up bedridden; a shell of who they once were. I've also seen, firsthand, how this disease wrecks havoc upon families.

I've always said, JUST SHOOT ME if I get a diagnoses of Alzheimer's. Take me out behind a barn and shoot me.

Yet I keep reading about precious moments where people who have this disease come back to life, to their old selves and it gives me hope that all is not lost once a person has been given this sentence.

Recently, a YOUTUBE video came out showing an elderly man with AD listening to music of his youth, and how this brought him out of the shell. It did not shock me as I have seen very similar things before...just not from my chair at home. When you're at work witnessing these things, it's somehow...different.

Then there was an article about Glen Campbell's last performance. He has Alzheimer's and has so far been able to maintain himself at a semi normal functioning state. As with everyone who develops this disease, there comes a time when retirement is the only option. I can only imagine what is going thru Glen's torn mind right now.

Then of course, the news that they have found, perhaps, a way to test people long before symptoms arrive, for the likelihood of having AD.  Who would want to know? AD is more than a death sentence. It's a long, slow, painful and eventually forgetful sentence. Who would want to know they're going to lose their humanity and live for maybe years after?

I took care of a woman who had mid to late stage Alzheimer's. She lived with me for 3 years before she died in 2010. She was once an elegant and upper classy woman; when she passed away she was a a mere child, lovingly playing with dolls that she believed were children. I watched her pass thru each stage as I've watched so many others. She went thru the period where she was happy and content, which gave me peace. What she went through before this I do not know as I did know her before.


In Europe, where we have ultra suave thinking going on, some forward thinkers have stated people with forms of dementia have a DUTY TO DIE -- because people with dementia are too much of a toll on their families AS WELL as SOCIETY.

And Down Under, that other modern society way ahead of the world, has seen it's fair share of people promoting assisted suicide as well.

Anyway back to my opening thought: If I got DX with this disease, just shoot me. When I get to the point where I have forgotten who I am, who my loved ones are- then yes, it's time to put me to rest. Why would someone who is so against the "Right-to-Die" movement make such a statement? The RTD movement isn't about individual people. It's about families and medical personnel making these choices and decisions that only each person should make.  For me, I've made my thoughts and feelings very clear on this issue; for many years- long before some disease takes over OR if I get into some accident where I am "brain dead"-- my family knows what I would want, what I DO NOT WANT. There is no doubt.

RTD people don't care about what I want. Rather, they see things thru the eyes of a selfish childish society that is all about ME, ME and ME. Sick people are inconvenient people. Sick people are costly to society, to families, to friends. They don't usually work and pay taxes.  They tend to take up hospital beds that could be put to use for more urgent patients (who these patients are I have no idea...) RTD people literally SHAME sick people into feeling guilty for...living.

RTD people convince sick people that they are useless and therefore should **just go away** and die. They might not say it as bluntly, but it is said in veiled words and phrases. "I wouldn't want to live like that" is a common sentence. "She has no quality of life!" is another declaration often made.

The New York Times has a selection of pictures of people with Alzheimer's Disease in various stages. It's humbling to see that the pictures don't appear to be dressed up, or dressed down. From all parts of the world, people with this disease are very much alive and they live life in ten minute increments. That is, they forget what happened 10 minutes ago; or what was said, or done. Is that a bad thing? They don't know what they don't know.

 We all have choices to make. If we don't want to live through such disease processes, we need to let our wishes be known. While in reality I doubt anyone in my family would actually shoot me, they would certainly not allow tubes and hospitalizations and other heroic measures. Have the discussions with people you love. Get it all written down. It's not difficult and it takes away the questions about your desires. When those questions exist, no one will ever know, for certain, what you would want and no matter what is done, guilt will forever be with your loved ones.